what to do when you feel like you've lost yourself

One of the greatest misfortunes in life is the loss of self. Most people experience it at some point in their lives, and honestly, it can be a very depressing time. 

Perhaps you’ve spent most of your time doing for others, such as for your family and children, and you feel like you lost sight of who you are. You’ve set aside your goals and hobbies – the things that ignite your fire and make you feel more whole – and as a result, you’ve lost a big part of yourself that you valued and identified with. What do you do when this happens?

When you feel lost in who you are, I believe that the best and first step is to go back to innocence.

As you go throughout this journey in your life, you are met with both the “good” and the “bad.” You accumulate 

more problems, challenges, and more things that you view as "going wrong." When this happens, it is important to take yourself back to innocence. You can begin by pulling out photos or videos of you as a child so that you can be reminded of the excitement and wonder it is to see through the eyes of a child, and to recapture some of the passion that you had for life when at a younger age.

Perhaps as a child, you were loving, generous, funny, adventurous, creative, imaginative, and able to find ways of making something out of nothing while having fun in the process. Now, imagine what it would be like to take those qualities back as an adult. 

Look back to who you were before all of this other “stuff” happened. When you go back to the innocence of yourself, you are reminded that life is good, life is exciting, it’s an adventure, and it is meant to be enjoyed. You are here to play through experiences, and to embrace each experience with what is possible in each moment. 

What often happens when you go about your life and are around different people is that some will say to you, “You can do anything that you put your mind to;” they are encouraging. And then there are those who say things like, “Really? You want to do that? What makes you think you can be successful?” or “But you have never done it before. No one can be as good as so and so.” They are not so encouraging.

Each time someone brings you down or things go "wrong," it diminishes that innocence and sense of wonder and excitement for life. It dims that light within you that you held brightly as a child. In the prime of your innocence, anything was possible. You were fearless. You were excited to wake up each morning and be anyone you wanted to be.

When you feel lost or you don’t recognize yourself, think back to when you were a child. Look at life through the eyes of that child. What would that child tell you now? How would that child handle the situation? What part of that innocence can you bring to the situation that will allow your inner light to shine brightly again, so that you can recapture what it means to be “you”?

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